Feast or Famine

30 Jun

I want to start this post off with some positive news: I have been hired as a ghost writer for a popular online magazine. I have not read my contract, but I am pretty sure I can’t disclose what magazine, because I am ghost writing. I am grateful for taking a leap and meeting new people, who were able to help me on my writing journey.

In the wonderful world of relationships, I am at a crossroad. Again, J cancelled our date. Twice. I’m not even mad just irritated. Moreso, I am starting to wonder where I fit in his life. I’m not asking that we be together everyday, I just wish when we made plans he would honor them. What really made me think was when I asked him if he was too busy for a relationship he said. “yes and no. I am really busy, but I don’t want to be lonely either.” with that sentence he told me what I needed to know. I’m just taking up space. If we don’t spend time together, doesn’t that mean he is already alone? I know I am. Sure, we talk on the phone and text, but the relationship is starting to feel a little one sided. I need more than some phone calls and couple of texts. Nothing replaces that face to face time. I have been fighting this battle for the last month and I am starting to grow weary. I wanted to sit down and talk about this face to face, but if I can’t get regular time with him I doubt he’s going to make any time to hear me out. It’s starting to feel like a battle that can’t be won. One part of me is saying, “Just walk away” but the greater part of me loves and cares for this man and I believe our relationship is worth fighting for. But how long to you stay in the ring before you accept it was a TKO? Certainly some things to think about.

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