24 Sep

I met Dick Gregory today y’all! Since I was young I have followed all his work on civil rights and I love every one of his books. This was certainly one of the great moments in my life. He has such a quiet strength about him.

I am sitting here feeling a liiiiittttlllee but hurt because J and his homies went out to celebrate, and they brought their girls. True I partied hard Friday, and I was worn down, but I felt some kinda way I didn’t get an invite. I’m not tripping because it was a miscommunication, but what this really about is my self esteem not being up to par. I am used to men only “dating” me during the hours of 10am-6am. It has given me the complex that men are ashamed of me because I am not this skinny, fashionable “bad bitch.” my subconscious is screaming”EWWWW WHY WOULD HE TAKE YOU OUT AROUND HIS FRIENDS? YOUR CLOTHES COME FROM OLD NAVY, YOU DON’T HAVE AN IMPORTANT CAREER, and YOU DON’T FIT IN.” J has never said any of this, but it’s how I feel. I have to start loving myself more. It’s time I accept Miss Page the way she is. I’m a good mother, ambitious, smart, hard working, generous and loving. I just need to believe it! I AM ENOUGH!!! I think it’s time to lay on that couch again. Speaking of therapy, I am kicking ass on my codependency issues. I have surpassed the need to swing from J’s nuts. Change is a process and I’m taking it one day at a time. I just need confidence and I’m going to work harder to build it up.

Well it’s time for me get some rest, love day ahead…..


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