I got a kick out of this over at Mom Solo, a blog written by a single mother who is one by choice. I didn’t sign up for single motherhood per se, but I’m here in it, and I found this post very telling.
For a long time I was embarrassed to be a single mother. With my daughter, I always made sure to chime in that “I was with her father for years!” Maybe if I threw that out I wouldn’t be judged. The second time around I was married, and when my marriage went south and we divorced, I was faced with stigma of being a single mom, with two kids, with…..different dads. So with my son, I find myself making sure I mention his dad was my “ex-husband, ” so people will not think badly of me. I carried this on for a while, even gaining a fictitious husband when I moved to DC. I am learning that this type of lie is another part of “mommy guilt.” I felt guilty because I didn’t stay with the father’s of my children, therefore not giving them a traditional family (whatever that is now days). I am letting go of that guilt slowly, but surely. My marital status is not a direct indicator of what kind of mother I am or what kind of person I am.
- First Lady Refers to Herself as a Single Mother (politicalwire.com)
- On Not Being a Single Mother (mybetamom.wordpress.com)
- The Single Mother’s Survival Guide. (uggggh.wordpress.com)
- Celebrities and Sippy Cups Poppy Montgomery Talks about Mommy Guilt (everydayfamily.com)
- Musings of a Single Mother (biodunsamueladepetu.wordpress.com)