From the Desk of Miss Page: Parties at Work

6 Sep

What I do when someone suggest I cook for a potluck….

I love when I post my Random Thoughts in GIFs, because it always leads to some kind of explanation about my feelings on a subject.  This time, someone asked me what I have against work parties.  Gather ’round hustlers if you still living, this is a long one.

Let me preface this by saying, yes I have had work parties thrown in my honor, two of those being a kickass breakfast baby shower and the second being a party celebrating me being in my position for 90 days.  I was appreciative of both parties and the work that went into them.  That being said, it is not the actual act of parties at work that bother me, it’s the things surrounding the parties that bother the hell out of me.

It’s Not That Serious

To put into perspective, parties at work are basically 1 hour shindigs (they are almost ALWAYS held during lunch) held in a break room where people bring food from home in.  Also there is always cake.  If there isn’t  cake your work party sucks ass.  There is always someone in the office, usually the “party planner” that treats this shit like it’s a damn wedding reception or a prom.  They lord over who is going to be invited (“Don’t invite accounting!  We don’t like them!) and who is bringing what.  There are mass emails sent out about decorations, themes, etc, and this is all during a time when we should be working!  Don’t get me wrong, I play more reindeer games on the internets during work than I care to admit, but when it comes to work parties I wish someone would enforce the acceptable use policies because I despise getting group emails all day about what everyone is bringing to the potluck. You know what really drives me nuts?  The person who hits “reply all” and I keep getting emails all day long after I have stated I am bringing cups (heh).  Bottom line: Send one email, post a signup sheet and call it a night.

The Risk of Food Poisoning

Watching Hoarders ruined work parties for me.  Some of those people on that show looked like perfectly clean people who I would NEVER in a million years lived like that.  Potlucks for me now carry the risk that I am eating meatballs that may or may not have been cooked on  a stove that only had one eye available due to the abundance of pizza boxes and cat feces everywhere.  Due to this fear, I try to stick to the store bought stuff or people who’s houses I have actually been to, because if I get sick I need to know who to sue.

So there you have it….the reason Miss Page can’t see it for parties at work.


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