I was listening to an episode of The Read, when a listener asked Fury and Crissles what they would tell their 10 year old selves. This made me think about the things I would tell my 12 year old self since that was a rough ass time in my little adolescent life. Here goes:
Dear 12 year old Victoria,
Hey boo. This is the 32 year old you, and I want to tell you so much about what is and isn’t going to matter in twenty years.
- I know the question that is burning in your mind at this moment and let’s just start there. NO ONE will be paying attention to the little flesh tag on your left ear in 20 years. Girl! Let me say it again….NO ONE will be looking at that at all. So ease up on your mom for not letting you have major reconstructive plastic surgery on your ear when you were 8. You will go to another plastic surgeon when you are 18 and they will tell you the same thing, removing it will cause more harm than letting it stay. Also, no, your kids won’t have one and the second your daughter is born you will not check to see if she has 10 fingers and 10 toes, you will be checking her ears.
- Those girls that are giving you hell right now for “acting like a white girl?” Let me be clear: your uncanny ability to “code switch” will take you further than they will ever go. You will have fun being petty looking at their Facebooks, trying to be what they clowned you for back then.
- You will find a real friend. In the ninth grade, you will meet your best friend. You two will bond over a Wu-Tang lyric and for the next 20 years your friendship will survive deployments, moves across country, marriages, divorce, babies and a partridge in a pear tree. She will understand everything you have been through and will never have to explain yourself to her. She will join you in kiking about the tragic people that used to tease you, because some of them teased her too.
- You will survive being molested. It’s gonna be a messy ass road getting there, but you are going to survive it. I promise.
- That boy in your chorus class you like on the low? You will see him again, and you will go on to have a very interesting relationship with him. It will be life changing.
- You aren’t fat. Wait until you see your post baby body……
- You will have a kick ass afro….TWICE! Yes girl, you will rebuke the creamy crack and wear your hair natural.
- Remember your parent’s wedding picture where you would see a picture of your Godmother and Godbrother (when he was a baby)? They will become very important people in your life. The first time you meet your Godbrother, you will realize he is your ‘A-Alike” and that you are not as weird as you thought you were. Your Godmother will be the personification of God’s love and favor.
- Your relationship with your dad is going to stay the same. I want to really tell you not to involve yourself in the foolishness you are going to in about….two years because at the end of the day, it isn’t going to hurt him. It is going to hurt you. Bad. He will continue to view you as a disappointment no matter what you do, so please do yourself a favor and don’t carry that burden.
- You are going to become a runner. I know, I know. You struggle to run a single mile, but what if I told you that one day you will run 13.1 miles? Yes. It is going to happen and you are going to love it!
Thirty Two year old Victoria