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From the Desk of Miss Page….

27 Aug

Many of you may be wondering what happened to J, as I really don’t blog about him as much anymore.  I figured today was a good time to address that.  For over a year, I defended his need for what he called privacy in his relationship.  This was a lot for me to swallow, even when he referred to me as his “homegirl” or “the homie” when introducing me.

I took this too, as a part of his need for privacy.  But there is a fine line between privacy and hiding.  After uncovering lies by omission every couple of months, it became painfully clear that J wasn’t being private about our relationship, he was hiding it.  I defended this for so long because I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had made the SAME mistake again.  I was dating a man that loved me in the dark, but not in the light.  The final straw is when I heard the actual truth of what happened and who was called when he had an emergency this past winter.  I don’t have to tell you who, if you read this blog you already know (here’s a hint: Wedding).  You know when I found about his emergency?  Three days later.  And during that three days NO ONE said anything to me.  Why?  Because to his friends I wasn’t his girl.  I was his “homie.”  So, I sit here a little embarrassed, because I really thought I knew better, but I didn’t.  That being said, I don’t harbor any ill will, I just know that the next time around, I will pay closer attention.

Three more days until closing and I am pumped!!!  My walk through is scheduled for the 29th, and the next day is closing time.  I honestly did not think I was going to make it to this week.

I ran a 5k this morning before work, and I feel like a bag of money.  My intention was to only run 2 miles, but when I got to two, I felt so damn good that I wanted to go to three.  I would have gone to four, but I love my job and I was already on the cusp of being late.

Thank God for GPS.  Yesterday, I accidently got on at 495 NORTH, and the next thing I know, my ass was at Dulles Airport.  Let’s note that Dulles is nowhere near my house and I learned that taking the free Dulles toll road and turning around at the airport will get your ass a ticket.  It took me an extra 45 minutes to get home, but I did discover that if I never need to catch a flight and I have leave from my job, it’s not that far to the airport.  The more you know….

 

 

 

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Venting Session: Volume 1 Chapter 1

17 Dec

I need to vent, so here goes:

I am frustrated AS HELL with J right now. I have no idea what has happened to my relationship, but somehow, we have regressed into “something” where we only see each other at night and if he wants to see me. Of course, I want to see my boyfriend so I am picking times that are just not acceptable. But it’s either that or I won’t see him at all. The whole thing is starting to feel one sided. If I try to make plans I get a maybe or cancelled on. I am particularly sensitive about this because J was talking to me a few weeks back and he mentioned how one of the females he hangs with is funny about picking up the check when they go out to eat. Pause. Let that marinate in your spirit. I am over here taking what little time I can get, but can go to brunch with her? FOH! J stated today that he didn’t feel I was happy and he may be right, or this may be another “I’m fixing to dump you, and this is my way to make it about you.” Oh I have had that game ran on me before, so I know what it looks like. Reciprocity has turned into a tug of war…..

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