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Four-Twelve, Stolen Coats, and We Like To Party

19 Dec

The holidays are here and I am FINALLY getting into the Christmas spirit!  While I was drunk with Christmas spirit a week or so ago, I made a status about wanting to throw a Christmas party and forgot all about it.  That was until J called me at work and asked what was up with the party on Saturday.  So on Saturday, J and I are throwing our first ever Christmas party.  Thoughtful man he his, the first question out of his mouth was, “Do you want me to call the house cleaning service?” Uh, does a bear shit in the woods? Continue reading


Thanksgiving Re-Cap

2 Dec



This year my family decided to break from our tradition of eating at home and we went out to eat for Thanksgiving.  In previous years, my mother would spend a day and a half preparing a huge Thanksgiving feast and while we all enjoyed the food, it left very little time for us to spend time together as a family.  Continue reading

The Shade of Success

4 Oct


I have made no secret that I came to the DMV to win.  I came to excel, to be better every day, week, month, and year that I was before.  Call me wrong, but I look at the opportunity in everything, because again, I am only playing to WIN.  When I step through the doors at work, I am all about my business.  I did not come to kiki with you.  I did not come to make BFF’s, I came to work….and did I mention win?  Now that we have all of that out of the way, today we had a meeting where there were some job responsibility changes.  Some people got some of their responsibilities taken, some people got more, some job titles were switched.  I was one of those people who got more responsibility and a new job title.  I am now on the same playing field as the person that was above me.  This did not make her happy.  Be clear:  this is not my first time at the office rodeo.  As stated before, I know how the game is played, and the difference this time is….I know HOW to play.  When we got out of the meeting she came over to me and offered the FAKEST congratulations followed by:  “I mean are you sure you want that responsibility?  Our PM has a way of making people think they want things they really don’t.  Plus, you really don’t have a lot of training in that area and I wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed.”

For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When Words Were Not Enough: My Day Told Through GIF's

Girl, what?  Have you seem my resume?  Do you know my skill set?  The training program this department is using at this very moment was put together by yours truly.  I didn’t open the library like I wanted to because I will always remain professional, so I replied, “I know I can handle this.  I have been doing this for years.”

There was a time where I would have dialed down my confidence to assure the other person that I wasn’t as good as they were so I would not be perceived as a threat.  Yeah, that person doesn’t live here anymore.  You feel threatened?  Work harder.  I am damn good at what I do and my days of denying it to stroke another persons ego are over.  Trust and believe if the shoe was on the other foot, not only would she have snatched up the work she would have thrown me under the bus extra hard to make sure there was NEVER a possibility of me taking her spot.  But this is really what I wanted to say to her:


My Mama Taught Me Better Than That: Gucci Mane

13 Sep

I was cranky too when I was six months pregnant…..

All jokes aside, something serious is going on with Radric and hopefully he gets some help.  First twitter, now he’s fighting people in the food court…..

Single Mama Running: A Dream Deferred

10 Sep

It looks like the Diva’s Half won’t be happening for me.  The race is early Saturday morning, and my sitter canceled on me this morning.

This is the caveat of being a single parent runner.  I am restricted to the deadmill to train because, I don’t have someone to watch my kids three times a week so I can get in a good outdoor run.  My gym has a daycare so that is my only real child care option when it comes to running.  I crave running with my local running group outside, but I don’t think that will ever happen because I have two children who are both too old for jogging strollers, but too young to keep up with me on a 3-5 mile run.  Hiring a sitter just so I can run or participate in races is an extra cost I don’t want to incur.  I want to hear from some other single parent runners.  How are you making it work?


The Myth of Child Support

9 Sep


MmJhNGEyNmMxN2E1_1276Ignorance is really bliss…..

Today as I was scrolling through my news feed I came across this piece that was featured on KFox 14 in El Paso about an attorney who has created a controversial ad, urging men to lawyer up against mothers using child support for “drinks or a new boyfriend.”


In Texas, as they do here in Virginia, child support and other government benefits (unemployment and TANF) are direct deposited on to a state issued card, to cut down on the cost and mailing time for checks and for easier access to funds for recipients that do no have bank accounts.  The claim is the government should put more regulation on where those cards can be used, to ensure the money is going to the children.  I want to debunk a few things that I saw in the piece and that I keep hearing from the disgruntled masses.

  1. Child support is not just issued on a government issued card.  Mine goes to my bank account, which surprise, surprise goes to my debit card.  The initial purpose of these cards was to cut down on the cost to the state for printing checks.  You can’t even get a paper check for your state income tax anymore.  It’s called technology.
  2. A six month doesn’t need $1,400 a month to live.  Have you seen how much it cost to put a 6 month old in daycare?  Let’s do the math shall we?  In Northern Virginia it is approximately 300 dollars a week (YES a WEEK) for an infant.  Multiply that by 4 and you have a daycare bill of 1,200.  Diapers are about 30 dollars for the big box, and you will go though about a box a week, that is another 120.  Which leaves you 80 dollars a month to “buy drinks for your new boyfriend”. GTFOH.  We haven’t even began to factor in the roof over the child’s head, food, clothing, and doctor visits.
  3. Not every woman has children for a paycheck.  Listen, when I had my daughter her father didn’t even have a job.  Now please explain to me how I was going to “come up” from having a baby?  I’ll wait.  Most of these people hollering that they got “trapped” don’t have anything to trap.
  4. There are proper channels.  I have said it once, and I will say it again.  If you feel your money is not going toward your child and you feel they are being neglected: CALL CPS!  Don’t get on Facebook, don’t call your mama, don’t tell your friends.  Contact the authorities, file a complaint and let the chips fall where they may.  I get so tired of seeing people complain as if it’s a one sided process.  Just like I can file a complaint in court, any one can.

This article really pissed me off because there are so many women and men (there are some deadbeat mamas too) that use these same tired excuses everyday to rationalize why they are failing to provided for their children.  Do better.

Making Peace

29 Aug

Today I looked at the calender and realized that I am approaching 33 in a few months and something I have done in the last month or so is made peace with who I am.

Let me explain, as I have gotten older, my patience is very thin.  I have survived the Terrible Two’s twice, I have worked in Oncology, I have worked across from a Rehab Hospital, I’ve been jilted three weeks before my wedding, married to a loser, experienced 36 hours of labor, damn near died in a credit union parking lot, and as of yesterday one of my former co-workers was hit and killed by a car yesterday.  When people come to me with what I deem as petty issues, I really fight to pretend to care because I have seen the ugly in life and life is much bigger than the shit people complain about.  Your feelings are hurt?  I don’t care.  There is someone that is fighting to learn to walk and talk again.  That is something I care about.  There is someone who has stage 4 lung cancer.  That is something I care about.  My filter is gone, and I will continue to say what I feel until these eyes close.  I want people to know exactly what I stood for be it popular opinion or not.  Am I selfish? Yes.  Do I participate in reindeer games? Yes.  Can I be messy? Absolutely. But that is who I am.  For years, I have accepted people for the way that they were but for some reason I always felt like I needed to change “they way I am.”  I’m done doing that.  I spent inordinate amounts of my life altering my opinions and behaviors just to fit in.  Do you know how miserable it is to live a life where you have lived the lie so long you don’t know who you are anymore?  Once I “found myself” I promised I would never go back to tap dancing for anyone.  With that being said, retracting yesterdays post is really bothering me.  Like REALLY bothering me.  I often wondered when the day would come when I would offend someone and what I would do.  The former me would have done exactly what I did yesterday.  Take it down, play nice, say that is not what you meant to say.  But the truth of the matter is this is MY BLOG and until yesterday I have never held back.  Taking that post down felt like I took a million steps back.  I put on my Capezios and started doing my time step.  If I let one person, sister or not dictate what is posted here, the ball just starts rolling and then my blog turns into “What We Think You Should Say.”  Will the post come back?  I thought of  a quote from House of Lies “You blow up your life everyday for your job.”  This is how I feel about my blog.  It’s my baby, my outlet, and yeah, I’m willing to get a little dirty to fight for what the content will and will not be here.


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