The holidays are here and I am FINALLY getting into the Christmas spirit! While I was drunk with Christmas spirit a week or so ago, I made a status about wanting to throw a Christmas party and forgot all about it. That was until J called me at work and asked what was up with the party on Saturday. So on Saturday, J and I are throwing our first ever Christmas party. Thoughtful man he his, the first question out of his mouth was, “Do you want me to call the house cleaning service?” Uh, does a bear shit in the woods? Continue reading
I’m clearly not in the mood to do any work today so I am going to do what I do best: write.
These last few months have been nothing short of a dream. I remember back when I was dealing with “The Friend” and the other band of losers that paraded through my life in 2010, I never thought I could do any better. I distinctly remember the despair of feeling like I would never know what it was like to be loved by a man, for real for real. The longer J and I have been together the better it gets. I know I have sung his praises before, but this man gets me y’all. This was evident in an incident that will forever be known as “The Dilla Box Set Day” (ooooh so original!). Anyone who knows me, knows I love my beatmakers and producers, especially J Dilla. When I saw the Dilla Boxed set (which I have been waiting for since that Snap Judgement episode) I simply shared it on my FB newsfeed and my mom expressed interest in purchasing it for me as a gift. A few days later while J and were sitting around he asked if my mom checks her FB messages. I didn’t think of it, and I put the conversation out of my head. Fast forward after Thanksgiving, there are two boxes on the porch which is not a big deal because if Amazon Prime was a religion we would be the pastor and first lady of the Church of Amazon. I recognized the first box came from Amazon, but the second I didn’t recognize. I looked at the address and noticed it said it was from “J Dilla, King of Beats” and the package came from Detroit. This is how oblivious I can be: I didn’t care about what could have possibly been in the box, all I wanted was the shipping label because it had Dilla’s name on it. I texted J and told him he had a package and where it came from. Even though he too, is a Dilla fan I could feel in my spirit whatever was in that box was for me. I circled the box like a shark in the water until J got home. I tried to carry on a conversation but it was KILLING me, because I needed to know what was in that box! So after small talk, J announces that yes, the box is indeed for me. In about 3 seconds I mentally went through all of the possibilities as to what it could be. The “DC Loves Dilla” shirt I wanted so bad? Maybe a Dilla coffee mug (I love coffee mugs)? You know what wasn’t on my list of possibilities? The boxed set. As I cracked open the box, my heart nearly stopped when I caught the first glance of a box that was an exact replica of Dilla’s SP-1200. Tears welled up in my eyes as I removed each vinyl and ran my hands over the certificate of authenticity. That man knows me y’all. My friend Cookie made my eyes sweat a little when she expressed her happiness over seeing her friends being loved. I immediately thought about an interview Drake did years ago where he talked about his mom. I remember him saying that “she’s never been loved properly” and I just knew that would be my story. J may not be perfect, but when it comes to me he always goes above and beyond. This morning he was up with the chickens to make sure I had the new MF Doom Wallabees and is going to start taking The Boy to daycare so he can get the extra sleep he needs. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t remember how fortunate I am to have a relationship that is easy and I am not in any type of distress and turmoil.
My friends and family probably think I have fallen off the map, I haven’t. I have been studying for my PMP certification and it’s not the easiest thing. I don’t have a lot of PM experience so I have to use a lot of resources beyond the online course. The course is self paced and I have a year to complete it. There are a lot of days I really don’t feel like being bothered, but I know this is necessary for the next step in my career.
That’s all I have for now, I got my WordPress app back on track so I will be posting a little more. Peace.
Yesterday was our first Halloween in our new neighborhood and boy did we get some surprises. Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Halloween. It is by far, one of my favorite holidays and I love the idea of dressing up. This year I had the idea to do a family costume. Continue reading
Today as I was scrolling through my news feed I came across this piece that was featured on KFox 14 in El Paso about an attorney who has created a controversial ad, urging men to lawyer up against mothers using child support for “drinks or a new boyfriend.”
In Texas, as they do here in Virginia, child support and other government benefits (unemployment and TANF) are direct deposited on to a state issued card, to cut down on the cost and mailing time for checks and for easier access to funds for recipients that do no have bank accounts. The claim is the government should put more regulation on where those cards can be used, to ensure the money is going to the children. I want to debunk a few things that I saw in the piece and that I keep hearing from the disgruntled masses.
- Child support is not just issued on a government issued card. Mine goes to my bank account, which surprise, surprise goes to my debit card. The initial purpose of these cards was to cut down on the cost to the state for printing checks. You can’t even get a paper check for your state income tax anymore. It’s called technology.
- A six month doesn’t need $1,400 a month to live. Have you seen how much it cost to put a 6 month old in daycare? Let’s do the math shall we? In Northern Virginia it is approximately 300 dollars a week (YES a WEEK) for an infant. Multiply that by 4 and you have a daycare bill of 1,200. Diapers are about 30 dollars for the big box, and you will go though about a box a week, that is another 120. Which leaves you 80 dollars a month to “buy drinks for your new boyfriend”. GTFOH. We haven’t even began to factor in the roof over the child’s head, food, clothing, and doctor visits.
- Not every woman has children for a paycheck. Listen, when I had my daughter her father didn’t even have a job. Now please explain to me how I was going to “come up” from having a baby? I’ll wait. Most of these people hollering that they got “trapped” don’t have anything to trap.
- There are proper channels. I have said it once, and I will say it again. If you feel your money is not going toward your child and you feel they are being neglected: CALL CPS! Don’t get on Facebook, don’t call your mama, don’t tell your friends. Contact the authorities, file a complaint and let the chips fall where they may. I get so tired of seeing people complain as if it’s a one sided process. Just like I can file a complaint in court, any one can.
This article really pissed me off because there are so many women and men (there are some deadbeat mamas too) that use these same tired excuses everyday to rationalize why they are failing to provided for their children. Do better.
- Child Support Problems? (goodfoundations4children.com)
- Changes to child support guidelines (wwlp.com)
- Child support lapses push debt to $210m (stuff.co.nz)
- WHY ARE JUDGES SOMETIMES RELUCTANT TO SANCTION A PARENT WHO DEFIES THE COURT’S OWN ORDER IN DIVORCE AND CUSTODY CASES – especially relevant to Parental Alienation Syndrome (leslinetmd.wordpress.com)